Finding the calm within

In a sense, it doesn’t matter what is going on around you.  It doesn’t matter what the circumstances of your life are.

There is still within you a quiet place.  A place of serenity.  A place of joy.  A place of calmness.  A place of safety and security.

I have found this to be true on many occasions in my life.

There is a way to remove yourself from the swirl of life going on around you and just re-connect with your inner energy again.

This is very powerful.  It can hold you steady in a storm.  It can give you light when all seems dark.  In can give you serenity when all around you is noisy.

Some may call it meditation.  Some may call it day-dreaming.  Some may call it escapism.

It really doesn’t matter what you call it.  The important thing is, that this place, this place within you, is a source of strength and power that you can call upon at any time.  And it simply requires you to switch off from your chattering busy mind, slow it all down and re-connect with yourself.

My Granddad served in the Eighth Army in World War Two and he told me so many tales of life in the desert.  But one of the stories he told me really stuck in my mind.

On the way out to Africa, the Eighth Army travelled by boat.  They used an old meat boat to sail.  Any boat or vessel would do in those desperate times.  And as they travelled, they would come under attack from submarines.

My Grandad used to laugh as he recalled that he let nothing come between him and his sleep.  He’d boast that,  “I can sleep on a clothes line!”

So regardless of the bombing and noise and attacks, every night, at a set time he would settle down to sleep and sleep for the entire night.  However, his sergeant was a worrying kind of a man.  And rather than sleep, he would spend the whole night walking up and down, and up and down, on edge and ever watchful for the next danger.

My Grandad recalled that one morning, after a particularly bad night of bombing, he awoke to find that his sergeant had gone completely grey overnight.  Completely grey overnight!  Now that’s what worrying can do for you.

And the thing is, they both survived the war.  Regardless of all the bombings, they both survived and came home to the UK to start rebuilding their lives.  But my Grandad came back relatively un-scarred, and with a head full of black hair, whilst his sergeant came back with white hair and needed extensive treatment for his nerves.

So within, the most stressful of circumstances, even with the threat of death hanging in the air,  my Grandad found a way to remove himself from the fear and worry of his situation, and give himself a great night’s sleep.  Now that’s what I call strength!

The calm within you

If your life is stressful.  If you are feeling stressed out by the situations in your life, know that there is a quiet calm place within you where you can find peace any time you need it.

Regardless of what is going on around you in the world outside.  Regardless of how many obligations you have, regardless of how many bills you have, regardless of all of that – there is within you a place of quiet and calm.

Imagine when you watch a really good film.  Your mind is taken away from your immediate surroundings.  You forget about who you are as you get immersed in the story of the film.  All else slips away for those few hours.

Just like if you don’t want to hear people talking – you can wear headphones.

Just like when you don’t want to be in the dark – you can switch on the light.

Just like when you don’t want to smell someone’s ponky feet – you can cover your nose.

You can do this with your mind also.  If your thoughts are disturbing your peace of mind, or if situations are causing you stress then you can remove yourself for a while, to give yourself some inner peace.

You can just decide to pull back from ‘reality’ and go within yourself.

Accessing your ‘inner calm’ may take a little practise but it is well worth the effort.

Often our minds are on full throttle, thinking a thousand thoughts a minute.  Thoughts are not just ‘innocent’ things.

A single thought, can trigger a whole set of responses in your body physically.  A fearful thought, for instance, can send your pulse racing in seconds.  Yet nothing has actually happened as such.   You’ve just had a thought and your body has reacted to that thought, as if it were real.

Remember when you were young, how you were scared of things like witches and monsters?  You’d be really terrified!  Hiding under the bed covers afraid to come out in case it saw you and got you!  It was so real and SO terrifying.  You were convinced of the danger.

But with your adult brain, you can see that there was no threat.  You had only imagined it.  Your little heart had pounded all because of your imagination.  There was no monster hiding under your bed.

If you hadn’t thought about the monster, you wouldn’t have been scared.  Can you see the similarity between your childhood fears and your adult fears?

If you don’t think about the things that frighten you, or worry you, or make you feel anxious, then you won’t feel the physical reaction to those thoughts.

Try thinking about something that scares you now.  Does it make your stomach drop?  Does it make your muscles tense?  These physical reactions are happening, you are feeling unpleasant situations but nothing is happening outside of you.  It is just your thoughts that are affecting your emotions and physical well-being.

Now try thinking about something pleasant.  If nothing pleasant has happened to you recently, then think back to a happy memory.  One that made you smile, laugh or warmed your heart.  Then notice how your emotions and sensations in your body change.

It may seem like a silly question, but which do you prefer?  Feeling anxious or feeling joyful?

Most people will of course answer yes to the latter.  And the reason for that is?

Because this is a healthy state to be in.  That’s why we prefer it.  Being happy is healthy for us.

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

So with that understanding in mind, know that your most healthy state is when you are thinking happy thoughts.  Does this seem odd to you?  Can you remember being a child and just ‘being happy’ for no other reason than that.  You just wanted to play and enjoy the moment.  You weren’t caught up in the shadows of your past and you weren’t caught up in the worries about your future.  This is our natural happy state.  We’ve just forgotten because the outside world can put so many pressures upon us.

Okay, so your task is to find one thing, just one thing, that makes you feel joyful.

And when you’ve found that thing, your challenge is to allow yourself to fully indulge it for 30 minutes a day.

This is really important.  If you are in a stressful situation, you need to have some space in your day that is un-stressful.  And once you start connecting with your un-stressed you, it will become so much easier to begin fostering a calmer mental state.

So do this for you.  Identify one thing that you enjoy, that you  NATURALLY enjoy (without any effort whatsoever) and start to allow yourself 30 minutes of your day, every day, to indulge in this activity (or non-activity as the case may be).

Here are a few suggestions:

Listening to music.

Painting.

Dancing.

Exercise.

Watching a movie.

Massage.

Playing with your cat or dog.

Singing.

Writing…