Dear feelings…

Dear feelings,

Firstly I want to say thank you.  You may not have always been right, and sometimes you were downright too sensitive, but I know you were only trying to protect me and keep me safe.

I know now that I just need to allow myself to acknowledge you – whether you are wrong or right.

And then I can set you free.

Love, Joy xxx

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We live in a world where we are taught not to express our feelings very often.  Only some types of feelings are okay.  The other feelings, the ones that other people find uncomfortable, we are often trained to repress and hold in – so that we don’t always feel safe to express them or feel that they are valued.

But feelings are feelings – whether they are right or wrong and they just want to be heard and acknowledged.  It’s okay to express them, even if only to yourself.  Maybe by writing a letter that you”ll never send, or having a conversation with someone only in your head…as long as the feelings get heard and acknowledged – that’s the main thing.  That’s all feelings want.

Your feelings may not always right.  I know that sometimes my feelings are really whiffy and far too sensitive,  but they are still feelings.  Repressing them doesn’t help.  So many times you hear the words, “Think positive, think positive,” and they are wise words, but if you don’t let out the feelings first, it’s like putting make-up on a dirty face.  The feelings will stay there, until you let them out.  Until you acknowledge them.

When you repress a feeling, what you are really doing is pushing it back down inside yourself when all it wants to do is come up and come out.  Feelings are like apples placed in water, if you push them down to the bottom of the container, the first thing they are going to do when you let go is pop up to the surface again.  Trying to stop that is like fighting against gravity – it’s a losing battle.  Feelings are drawn to the surface, just as surely as gravity draws our feet to the ground.

So it seems that the simplest answer is to let them pop up – because that’s what they are meant to do (by some unknown law of nature).  And the wonderful thing is when you let them do that, they very often don’t bother you anymore.  You might get a new set of feelings about something else – but not those old ones.

So even if they’re wrong, or even if they’re uncomfortable, know that until you let them ‘pop up’, they won’t go away.  Pushing them down only makes them want to pop up again – that seems to be their nature.  They just want to be heard and acknowledged.  And just doing that releases them and sets them free.

So even if they’re wrong, even if other people don’t agree with them, even if you don’t agree with them, still let them be heard and acknowledged and that helps to release them.

What are your fear demons?

Reality.  In a lot of ways it’s what you think it is.  What you believe it is.  Our minds create an understanding and perception of how things are but it is a personal thing.  One person’s reality is very different from anothers and our minds can play tricks on us, leading us up wrong way streets.

When the fear demons play a visit, they can present a view of reality that is scary.  Sometimes just a little bit scary and sometimes terrifyingly scary.  Fear exists in all of us but sometimes it gets out of control.

A young girl wants to swim but she’s scared of the water.  A wall comes up in her mind and gets between her and swimming.

A singer wants to perform but is terrified of going on stage.  A wall comes up between her and her performance.

A man wants to apply for a job but is scared of getting rejected.  A wall comes up between him and his dream job.

All three have a dream, a desire to do something and all three are blocked by the fear in their mind.  The wall of fear.

None of us like to feel scared.  We run from it.  We avoid it.  We distract ourselves from it.  Fear is not a nice feeling.

FEAR = false expectations appearing real.  FEAR = F*ck everything and run.

Fear exists in the mind.  It is an imagined set of outcomes and because of the emotional response it can trigger, can seem very real and very powerful.  And it can be very limiting on anyone’s life.

A young baby taken to the swimming pool will just swim.  They have no fear – yet.  So they just do it.  An older child knows fear – and so holds back from taking the plunge.

Fears can hold us back from living our lives to the full.

Fear can be paralysing.  Taken to the extreme, it can stop someone from wanting to leave their home.

If we let fear control us, our lives will shrink down and down into smaller and smaller decreasing circles.

And life will be half lived.

Do you know what your fears are?  And are you going to let them rule you?

What are your fears?